Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Female Chemistry

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET =======================================
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET: WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 124lbs, but known to vary from 92 -500lbs
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Contagious desire to have one when seen.
2. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
3. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other due to guaranteed spontaneous combustion.


KaMpUnGKiA's Conclusion
Time = Money
Money = Problem^1/2 (roots of all problems)
Female = Time x Money
Female= (Money)^2
OR
Female = [(Problem)^1/2]^2
Therefore, Female = Problem = Money^2

NOTE: Just Joking only

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